Res Timoteo. Sir, will you drink this? It’s a new drink I have developed.
Dr. G. Gage. What is it?
Res Timoteo. It does everything you want. It hydrates you, it gives you more energy, you can run faster, jump higher, type faster, read faster, spelling is easier, your IQ raises by 10 points, you’ll be able to remember things you’ve forgotten, you’ll be able read people’s minds, your face will clear up, food digests easier, your eye sight will improve, you’ll be able to see at night, your teeth will straighten, things just taste better, your posture will straighten, you’ll be able to play the guitar, it’ll take ten people to bring you down, you’ll be able to speak another language except for some Asian languages, you’ll develop a British accent, you’ll be able to breath underwater, you won’t get sick, you won’t sunburn, it’s takes all sicknesses right out of your body and into a little jar, you’ll be able to predict the future, you’ll be able to move small objects with your mind, people of the opposite sex will be attracted to you, you’ll make friends, you’ll never be lonely again, you will be given great jobs, fair loans, you’ll be able to travel to any place you want, you won’t get into any accidents, you’ll drive like a professional, people will not try to harm you, and clothes will fit you.
Dr. G. Gage. Wow, you’ve done it, Timoteo. You’ve created the greatest drink in the world.
Res Timoteo. And it doesn’t taste like coffee, but rather it tastes like the aroma of coffee.
Dr. G. Gage. Amazing. Our company will surpass all beverage companies because of you.
Res Timoteo. Thank you, sir.
*Dr. G. Gage drinks
Dr. G. Gage. Um, Timoteo?
Res Timoteo. Yes, sir?
Dr. G. Gage. Can you make one adjustment?
Res Timoteo. Sir?
Dr. G. Gage. It’s very good, and I’m remembering what my uncle whispered to me when I was a boy, but can you make it taste a little more like chalky medicine? I think a drink like this should taste like medicine, don’t you? Timoteo? Where are you going?
End. Res Timoteo Quits