Ruben. What are you looking at?
Cara. Someone down there has a gun.
Ruben. What, are you serious?
Cara. He’s looking around, waving his gun at people. Oh my god, everybody’s getting down to the floor, all the cars are swerving out of the way.
Ruben. We should call the police. Get away from the window. Wait, what are you doing? Why are you opening the window? I have the air conditioning on.
Cara. Hey! Coward! Yeah, you! You coward! Who do you think you are? You are a little man. Get the hell out of my town!
Ruben. Get the hell out of my town? What is going on? I knew we shouldn’t have ordered pizza. Please, can you get over here? I found a nice safe corner away from any stray bullets.
Cara. Oh, don’t you point that thing at me! If you don’t stop pointing that gun at me I’m going to ...

[gun shot heard, Cara drops to the floor]

Oh my gosh, he tried to kill me.
Ruben. I can’t blame him, you screaming at him like that. If I had a gun I would have shot you myself. Now get over here.
Cara. I could have been shot. I could have died. What was I thinking? I’m just really sick and tired of these people who terrorize people with their guns.
Ruben. Perhaps it would be healthier if you were a political cartoonist.

[another gun shot heard]

Cara. He’s shooting at us again.
Ruben. I think he’s shooting more at you. I haven’t had the honor of meeting him.
Cara. Hold me, Ruben.
Ruben. That’s what I was going to ask you.
Cara. I don’t ever want to spur on a man with a gun again.
Ruben. I know I have Post-it notes somewhere around here.
End.
Yelling at Madmen