Baguettes and Drinking.
Elena. I’m going to get you so drunk tonight.
Marius. I’m sorry?
Elena. Just be ready.
Marius. Ready to get drunk?
Elena. Yes. Eat bread, soft pretzels. Here, I got you a loaf of French bread. Here’s some butter, but don’t use too much.
Marius. Wow, thanks? You know, I’ve made French bread a couple times in my life.
Elena. Why?
Marius. When I was in Tahiti, everyone had a baguette under their arms.
Elena. Even the women?
Marius. Sure ... I guess so.
Elena. That’s disgusting. You know they don’t shave under there.
Marius. I don’t know. I can’t remember, but the men don’t either ... I’m guessing. Anyway, since baguettes were everywhere where even construction workers were carrying them ... under their arms...
Elena. Ew. I just want to say that even though I do shave under my arms, I did not carry the French bread under them.
Marius. Uh, well ... thank you? I don’t think I would eat it otherwise? So, yeah. Since it was so common in Tahiti, I thought it must be easy to make, like fries or something.
Elena. Fries would be good to have before you got drunk. Let’s go to Geno’s. I love their cheese fries.
Marius. Sounds good. We should go, but it turns out that French bread takes about four hours to make.
Elena. Four hours?
Marius. Yeah, you make the dough, wait for it to rise, punch it down, then wait to it to rise again, the punch it down again, and so on and so forth. My sweat and tears would literally be a part of the dough.
Elena. Well hum, that actually doesn’t bother me. I would still eat it.
Marius. Okay ... ? But my version of the French baguette is this dense and heavy bread. It’s good, but it’s not what you expect would be French bread, like this one.
Elena. Can I have a piece?
Marius. Sure, do you want butter?
Elena. Aw, I should have gotten cheese, but I’m not sure you should have too many dairy products before you got drunk.
Marius. I do not understand. Why do you want to get me drunk?
Elena. I think it’ll be funny.
Marius. I may vomit.
Elena. Then it’ll be even funnier.
Marius. Gee thanks, do you still want to go to Geno’s?
Elena. For fries? Let’s go.
End.