Piercings and Spiders.

Father. Now, why do you want your ears pierced?
Daughter. Because ...
Father. Yes?
Daughter. Why can’t I get them?
Father. Why do you want them?
Daughter. I mean ...
Father. Yes? Do you want me to guess?
Daughter. No. I hate it when you psychoanalyze me. I know exactly what you think I think.
Father. Really? What do I think you think?
Daughter. You think that I think that since every one of my friends have piercings already, that I want to have them too.
Father. And that’s not the case?
Daughter. No ...
Father. Well, good. I’m proud of you. Your motivations are not based on the actions of your peers.
Daughter. Stop it.
Father. Stop what?
Daughter. You’re psychoanalyzing me again.
Father. I’m sorry. I was telling you why I was proud of you.
Daughter. Yes, but no parent does it the way you do.
Father. Really?
Daughter. Yeah, really.
Father. But I do it the way I do only to try to understand you.
Daughter. I don’t want you to get to know me.
Father. Oh? Because I’m your father?
Daughter. Well ...
Father. It’s okay ... I don’t know what it is, but at your age it’s very natural to be rebellious, especially towards me. Actually, I don’t think you being rebellious enough.
Daughter. What? What do you mean?
Father. Come on. You just want your ears pierced? Not your belly button? You know, before I met your mother, I dated a girl who pierced her nose, twice.
Daughter. Dad! I don’t want to know this.
Father. Not only that, she shaved her head, and had a tattoo.
Daughter. You dated a girl with a tattoo?
Father. Yeah, it was a spider.
Daughter. A Spider? Why, does she like spiders?
Father. Actually no. She was scared of them. The reason why she got it was because she wanted to get over her fear of spiders.
Daughter. Did she get over her fear?
Father. No. Whenever she looked down at her tattoo, she freaked out. She was scared of her own tattoo.
Daughter. Are you serious? That’s kind of stupid.
Father. Well, I was kind of stupid for dating her.
Daughter. Yeah.
Father. Anyways, so. Do you really want your ears pierced?
Daughter. Can I get a tattoo?
Father. Can it be a tattoo of the Italian flag?
Daughter. No, we’re not even Italian.
Father. No, but it would be cool if we were.
Daughter. No, Dad. A tattoo of the Italian flag would be stupid.
Father. Then no. Get your ears pierced.
Daughter. Fine.
Father. Good, can I come?
Daughter. No.
Father. Fine.
End.