Fabrice. Come on, Armand. Jump.
Armand. Jump? Me, Jump? Oh no, you must mean someone else.
Fabrice. It’s not that bad, what are you afraid of?
Armand. Death. I’m afraid of death. How many times do you want your life to flash before your eyes? I’m trying to keep it to a bare minimum.
Fabrice. You won’t die. I’m not dead.
Armand. Yes, and it’s a miracle. Let’s not keep testing God like this. He’s bound to grow wary and decide to push me down this cliff out of vengeance.
Fabrice. Do you believe God would do such a thing?
Armand. Do I believe God is a vengeful God? Yes, and I’ll tell you why. You’re looking at it right now.
Fabrice. Please, will you jump?
Armand. Why did I agree to come with you? You know I’m phobic of everything. Even little dogs scare me.
Fabrice. Just jump. Why won’t you jump?
Armand. It upsets my sense of being when I need to squint to see you.
Fabrice. So what are you going to do?
Armand. I’m going to look for stretches of land and pick berries.
Fabrice. You’re going to leave me here?
Armand. I’m sure there are a variety of fish that will keep you company.
Fabrice. Would you jump if I were drowning?
Armand. Hey, I don’t take bribes. Oh, hello.
Bern. Hello.
Armand. Oh, are you waiting for me? No, go right ahead. I’m just admiring the immense height.
Fabrice. Don’t listen to him. He’s just afraid of jumping.
Armand. Isn’t she adorable? The way she shouts and screams?
Bern. I think it’s okay that you don’t want to jump.
Armand. Now see, Fabrice? Here’s a man with good sense.
Fabrice. Hey, I’ll give you fifty bucks if you push my husband off the cliff.
*Bern pushes Armand
End. Immediate Weightlessness
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