Massimo. Hey Lemmy, what are you doing?
Lemmy. I’m communicating with someone.
Massimo. You are? With who?
Lemmy. I’m not sure.
Massimo. I don’t understand. Where is this someone?
Lemmy. He’s on the other end of this string. When I pull on it, the other person pulls back on it. I’m trying to use Morse code with him, but I don’t think he understands. All he does is repeat my pulls.
Massimo. Where did the sting come from?
Lemmy. I don’t know. I just appeared one day.
Massimo. Can’t you follow the string?
Lemmy. I tried, but it’s goes into the sewage drains.
Massimo. Do you think this person lives in the sewage drains?
Lemmy. I think he only uses the sewage drains to hide the string underground.
Massimo. But I think he’s somewhere in the Central Time zone.
Lemmy. What? How do you know that?
Massimo. Cause at every hour, I pull what time it is, then he returns with a time minus one hour.
Lemmy. But the closest place in the Central time zone is hundreds of miles away. How is that possible?
Massimo. Shh, he’s trying to say something.

Smoothswimmingdogmagiclylightboulder. A-r-e - y-o-u – u-s-i-n-g – M-o-r-s-e - c-o-d-e-?
End. Tug Tug Pull

Burny. You’re getting killed. I’ve never seen you get beat so bad.
Arturo. I know. He’s much better than me.
Burny. I hate to say it, but it’s humiliating.
Arturo. I’m sorry.
Burny. What do you have left?
Arturo. A grand.
Burny. Forget it man, just cash it in. We’re losers tonight. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.
Arturo. You go get that drink. I’m staying.
Burny. Just like that? You’re going to drop that grand?
Arturo. I’m not dropping anything.
Burny. He’s whipping you. The guy owns everything that you are. Let’s just say it was an off night.
Arturo. No, he’s better.
Burny. Then what are you doing? He’s better, you admit it, let’s go.
Arturo. Let me finish this.
Burny. Why? I can’t let you self destruct like this.
Arturo. I’m not self destructing.
Burny. Then why? Why are you willing to lose a grand like that? You know you’re going to lose that grand ... you’re not going to lose that grand?
Arturo. Just go get that drink for me.
Burny. Sure.
End. Solution Ahead
judsixteentwentytwo

Isa. Hey, when did you get back?
Tibor. A couple of hours ago.
Isa. How was the trip?
Tibor. Good.
Isa. I noticed the Subaru isn’t in the garage. Did something happen to it?
Tibor. You know, I tried to hit seventy miles per hour with that thing, but I could only go sixty eight.
Isa. It’s a beat up car.
Tibor. I did manage to pass two cars on the one lane to the beach.
Isa. Really?
Tibor. I had enough space the first time, but the second time I tried passing a car, another car was coming the opposite direction.
Isa. Did something happen to the car?
Tibor. How long have we had that Subaru?
Isa. Since eighty three.
Tibor. Remember when we went to Florida with that thing?
Isa. We went everywhere. It’s a good little car. Tibor?
Tibor. Yes?
Isa. Where’s the Subaru?
Tibor. I tried, but the Subaru couldn’t even reach seventy miles per hour.
End. After Time Spent

Krumm. So, that’s it. Are you excited?
Petters. I feel disappointed.
Krumm. You’re disappointed to go home?
Petters. No, I’m disappointed in myself actually.
Krumm. Why is that?
Petters. Because I’m going home. I’m leaving this place.
Krumm. But don’t you want to go home?
Petters. I do, but I wish I didn’t.
Krumm. I don’t understand.
Petters. I’m glad I’m going home. I mean, I’m ecstatic, and it’s because I miss home more than I want to stay here. At this point, I’d rather be there than here. Do you know what that makes me?
Krumm. What?
Petters. A tourist. I can’t live here, Krumm. I have to go home and be in comfort.
Krumm. But you’ve been here for five years, Petters. No tourist stays here for Petters years.
Petters. If I could stay here for five years, why can’t I stay here for more? I really wanted this to be my home, Krumm. What happened to me? I’ve become soft.
Krumm. Then why not try to stay here? Give it another shot?
Petters. I probably will. I just need to get out of here now. I’ll end up killing someone if I don’t.
Krumm. It’ll probably be me.
Petters. You’re probably right.
Krumm. Have a good trip.
End. Reluctance to Prevent
judsevenfive

Yannick. What happened to your dress?
Maja. I’m just not having a good day, Yannick.
Yannick. Why? What happened?
Maja. I can’t think straight, you know?
Yannick. What do you mean?
Maja. I mean my thoughts feel like rocks clattering inside my head. I can’t get them out.
Yannick. Hey, relax. It’s going to be okay.
Maja. I can’t. I’m on edge. I can’t get rid of this feeling. I hate it.
Yannick. Is it because of your dress?
Maja. Huh?
Yannick. Your dress. It’s ripped.
Maja. No no, I did that. I ripped my dress. I’m so frustrated, Yannick. I don’t know what to do. Look at me, I’m sweating.
Yannick. Here, you need water. Let’s get some water for you. Do you want to sit down while I get you water?
Maja. I don’t know. That’s my problem. I already tried drinking water. It only makes it worse. I’m so thirsty. Nothing can help it.
Yannick. We should go to the doctor.
Maja. I’ve never had this feeling before. I feel so dry inside. It’s driving me crazy. I can barely control myself from tearing my clothes completely.
Yannick. I’m really concerned. Do you have a fever?
Maja. Don’t touch me!
End. Ripping Short Of
judsixtwentyfive

One.
Gilles. So what choice do I have?
Customer Service Representative Eppler. You can choose green or blue.
Gilles. I’ll take blue.
Customer Service Representative Eppler. I’m sorry, we’re out of blue. Would you like green?
Gilles. So I don’t have a choice in the matter?
Customer Service Representative Eppler. No, I guess not.
Gilles. So why give my the choice of blue?
Customer Service Representative Eppler. Well, if you picked green, then you would be under the impression that you made a choice for yourself, which then in turn gives you satisfaction in your decision.
Gilles. But I picked blue.
Customer Service Representative Eppler. And I’m sorry. We don’t have blue. We do have green.
Gilles. What happens when I don’t like green?
Customer Service Representative Eppler. Well, you still have the choice of not purchasing green, which in turn gives you the impression that you are exercising the right to refuse a purchase.
Gilles. I think I won’t be buying green then.
Customer Service Representative Eppler. Very good choice, sir.

Two.
Karola. What other colors does this come in?
Customer Service Representative Eppler. We also have blue.
Karola. Oh, I’d rather have green. I’ll take this one.
Customer Service Representative Eppler. Very good choice, maam.
End. Green One
jostwentyfourfifteen

Fabrice. Come on, Armand. Jump.
Armand. Jump? Me, Jump? Oh no, you must mean someone else.
Fabrice. It’s not that bad, what are you afraid of?
Armand. Death. I’m afraid of death. How many times do you want your life to flash before your eyes? I’m trying to keep it to a bare minimum.
Fabrice. You won’t die. I’m not dead.
Armand. Yes, and it’s a miracle. Let’s not keep testing God like this. He’s bound to grow wary and decide to push me down this cliff out of vengeance.
Fabrice. Do you believe God would do such a thing?
Armand. Do I believe God is a vengeful God? Yes, and I’ll tell you why. You’re looking at it right now.
Fabrice. Please, will you jump?
Armand. Why did I agree to come with you? You know I’m phobic of everything. Even little dogs scare me.
Fabrice. Just jump. Why won’t you jump?
Armand. It upsets my sense of being when I need to squint to see you.
Fabrice. So what are you going to do?
Armand. I’m going to look for stretches of land and pick berries.
Fabrice. You’re going to leave me here?
Armand. I’m sure there are a variety of fish that will keep you company.
Fabrice. Would you jump if I were drowning?
Armand. Hey, I don’t take bribes. Oh, hello.
Bern. Hello.
Armand. Oh, are you waiting for me? No, go right ahead. I’m just admiring the immense height.
Fabrice. Don’t listen to him. He’s just afraid of jumping.
Armand. Isn’t she adorable? The way she shouts and screams?
Bern. I think it’s okay that you don’t want to jump.
Armand. Now see, Fabrice? Here’s a man with good sense.
Fabrice. Hey, I’ll give you fifty bucks if you push my husband off the cliff.
*Bern pushes Armand
End. Immediate Weightlessness
jossevenfive

Elber Door. Hey, Till. I got the ladder. I can get your glider off the roof now.
Till. It’s okay, Dad. I already got it.
Elber Door. What? How’d you get it down?
Till. It flew down by itself?
Elber Door. What, did the wind pick it up?
Till. I don’t think so. It just stayed in the air and then flew down to my feet.
Elber Door. Do you mean it hovered there in the sky?
Till. It did.
Elber Door. Did your uncle come by?
Till. Uncle Gert?
Elber Door. He’s here isn’t he?
Till. No, he’s not here. I didn’t see him.
Elber Door. Go back into the house.
Till. Why?
Elber Door. Just go. Now. And tell Mom to get me my rifle.
Till. What are you going to do to Uncle Gert?
End. Distraught Misconstruction
deusixtwenty

One.
Arabella. Did you hear that?
Norber. What?
Arabella. You can hear my parents moving behind the wall. We can’t talk too loud, or they’ll hear us.
Norber. Oh.
Arabella. What were we talking about?
Norber. I don’t know. I’m too racked knowing that your parents are on the other side of the wall. Am I going to get you in trouble?
Arabella. It’ll be okay. Just as long as we’re not loud.
Norber. Okay.
Arabella. Can I ask you a question?
Norber. Sure.
Arabella. Why are you here? I mean in Colorado? Did you come all the way out here to visit me?
Norber. Kind of. I just found myself here, and since you’re here as well, I might as well stop by.
Arabella. So why are you in Colorado?
Norber. I don’t know why exactly. I’m just here.
Arabella. So one day, poof. You’re in Colorado?
Norber. Just about. Granted, it took me a while to get here, but now here I am.
Arabella. What are you going to do here?
Norber. I don’t know. I can’t really do much. I guess I should just keep on going.
Arabella. Aren’t you going to stop?
Norber. I’m not sure. I think I’ll know when to stop though.
Arabella. Oh, did you hear that?
Norber. Is it your parents?
Arabella. I think so. I’m going to go out and check. This may seem strange, but can you hide in the closet for me?
Norber. Um, okay?
Arabella. Here, just stay in here until I get back.

Two.
Muriel. So what did you do in her closet?
Norber. I stood there, trying to hear what was going on outside. I could hear Arabella talk to her parents, telling them goodnight, but I think they got into a discussion.
Muriel. How long were you in there.
Norber. I don’t know. It seemed like a long time though, but I guess time is slower when you’re hiding in a closet.
Muriel. Yeah, I guess so. So did you try any of her dresses while you waited?
Norber. Yeah, I wanted her to catch me hitching up one of her skirts.
Muriel. I knew it.
Norber. Actually, I got tired of standing and sat down in her closet, staring at the light coming through the bottom of the door.
Muriel. That’s no fun.
Norber. But then I was thinking, “what am I doing here?” It was time to go back home.
Muriel. So after a year of wandering, you came back?
Norber. Because I hid from Arabella’s parents in her bedroom closet.
End. Line of Light, Carpet
jostwosix

Simona. This bread is perfect.
Urs. Thank you. I’m glad you like it.
Simona. I mean it. The elasticity, the crust, the flavor, everything. How do you do it?
Urs. You know? I don’t really know how I do it.
Simona. What do you mean?
Urs. I actually feel disconnected from my bread. Sure, I make it with my hands, but when the loaves come out of the oven, I just stare at them as if someone else made them.
Simona. Maybe it’s because you’ve made so many loaves.
Urs. That might be, but each loaf comes out perfect, and that bothers me.
Simona. How does it bother you?
Urs. You’d think I would do something different when making bread, but I don’t. There’s nothing special about my process, there’s no secret. I just knead the dough, let it rise, punch it down like everyone else. In reality, my bread should not taste the way it should.
Simona. Do you feel like you don’t deserve to make such good bread?
Urs. Yes, I do. I think baking bread is my best talent, but I don’t want to be a bread baker. I think I’d rather do anything else than bake bread. I’d rather be a professional bowler than be a bread baker.
Simona. Now I feel bad.
Urs. Why?
Simona. Cause you baked bread for me.
Urs. No, I enjoy baking bread for you. Okay, I was exaggerating about bowling, but baking bread? Come on. Are you going to introduce me like, “Hi, this is my friend, Urs. He bakes bread.”
Simona. But I would say, Hi, this is my friend, Urs. He bakes the best bread in the world. If I could bake bread like you I would go off to France, hit the major restaurants, and live off of bread money.
Urs. I would hate working in a restaurant. It’s this underworld of dealers and cheats.
Simona. I would do it, just to live in France.
Urs. Bread, why bread? Why couldn’t it have been twenty ten vision?
Simona. I wish I could bake bread like you.
Urs. If I could, I would give it to you.
Simona. Can you touch my hands?
End. Bread for France
deutwentyeightfive

Kattis. Didn’t you bring food with you?
Ota. I brought two apples and four liters of water.
Kattis. How long were you up there?
Ota. Eight hours.
Kattis. Weren’t you hungry?
Ota. Yes. That apple was the sweetest apple I had.
Kattis. I bet it was.
Ota. I wasn’t expecting to be up there for that long.
Kattis. What happened?
Ota. I followed the wrong trail and ended up at a ridge where I couldn’t go any farther. I wasted two hours following that trail and two more hours following it back to find the right one. That’s when I had to stop to have an apple.
Kattis. Didn’t you see anyone?
Ota. No one was up there. I imagined my death up there. No one would have found my body.
Kattis. It must have been lonely.
Ota. It put perspective on things, on my life. Here I was, sitting down in the middle of a jungle, tired, dirty, cold from my damp clothes. I felt like nothing. Strip my clothing and I’m no better than a hungry animal, so I decided to do that.
Kattis. You took off your clothes?
Ota. I shivered against the wind. I felt humiliated. It was almost unbearable.
Kattis. Did you continue without your clothes?
Ota. I crawled down to a level path where there was this tree with fruit on it. I didn’t know what kind fruit it was, but fruit were the size of cherries, but tasted more like guava with tiny edible seeds that rolled on my tougue. I climbed the tree and ate all of them.
Kattis. Weren’t you afraid they were poisonous?
Ota. I didn’t care. After trying one, I had to eat more.
Kattis. But you did put your clothes back on, right?
Ota. Yes, but it was difficult to put damp and mud caked clothing on.
End. Clinging Damp
deueightthree

Josette. What are you doing there?
Brund. I’m throwing stones at the devil.
Josette. What?
Brund. See that mound of stones over there?
Josette. Yeah?
Brund. That’s the devil. I take one stone from the mound and throw it back into the mound until there is no mound.
Josette. You have something against the devil, Brund?
Brund. Yes, I do. He is the cause of all of my misery.
Josette. Are you miserable?
Brund. Not anymore, now that I can throw stones at the devil.
Josette. Can I throw a stone at the devil too?
Brund. Go ahead. Get yourself a stone from the mound.
Josette. Okay. Does it matter what stone I take?
Brund. Not really, but before you come back, feel the stone in your hand. Feel the earth pulling it down, feel your fingers around the crevices of the stone’s face, feel the cold coming from it. Look at it, that stone is real.
Josette. Okay? Can I come back now?
Brund. Yeah. Come back here and throw that stone at the devil.
Josette. Do I have to do anything before I throw it?
Brund. All you have to do is recall what you learned from the stone. Visualize it leaving your hand and reaching the devil.
Josette. Okay. Can I throw it?
Brund. Once you feel like you’re ready.
Josette. Okay.
*Josette throws the stone past the mound.
Josette. I missed.
Brund. But did you see the devil flinch?
End. The Elusiveness of Stones
deufourtwelve

Walor. I give up.
Sabeinne. What are you talking about?
Walor. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.
Sabeinne. What are you going to do?
Walor. Not do this, first of all.
Sabeinne. That’s it? You’re done?
Walor. Yup.
Sabeinne. Who’s going to take over?
Walor. That’s not my concern.
Sabeinne. Don’t you think you’re being selfish?
Walor. I am being selfish only to keep me sane. Any more of this, and I’m going to have to become violent.
Sabeinne. You?
Walor. I thought about burning this building down.
Sabeinne. What?
Walor. But I couldn’t think of a sure way to do it without hurting people.
Sabeinne. Burn the building down?
Walor. I printed out leaflets to tape up everywhere warning that the building was going to be burned down at a certain date, so that people would be sure not to be in the building, but I’m sure the police would make sure no one would enter the building that day. Then I thought of letting the night shift janitors know about me burning down the building so I could do it late at night. I would help them look for better jobs elsewhere and plan for everyone to be covered when the building burned down, but that would cause too much suspicion from the police and will probably lead to me.
Sabeinne. I can’t believe this. Are you going to burn the building down?
Walor. No, I can’t without hurting my friends at work or being able to do it without getting caught. But planning all this helped me calm down. It was like solving a puzzle, but this puzzle is too difficult for me, and I’ve accepted that. I can’t burn down the building, but I can walk away from it.
Sabeinne. I guess I’m glad.
End. Spare What Cannot
numfourteenfortytwo

Petters. I can’t stand it anymore
Krumm. What’s the matter?
Petters. I can’t eat this food anymore.
Krumm. Why? What’s wrong with it?
Petters. Come on, Krumm. You’re telling me you like eating this?
Krumm. Well, no. But what are we supposed to do?
Petters. Do you know what I could go for?
Krumm. What?
Petters. A nice juicy hamburger with mac salad and fries on the side.
*Krumm hits Petters.
Petters. What was that for?
Krumm. You tourist. I never realized how much of a tourist you are.
Petters. Give me a break. I just want a hamburger.
Krumm. Then go get one you tourist. Go take a plane, run back to America and get your hamburger.
Petters. You’re telling me you don’t want a hamburger?
Krumm. Just eat your food.
Petters. You know you want a hamburger. You just can’t admit it. What are you trying to hide?
Krumm. Are you going to eat your food?
Petters. No. I’m sick of this.
Krumm. I’ll have it then. You just sit there and think about your hamburger.
Petters. I’m no tourist, Krumm.
Krumm. Yes you are.
Petters. Just because of the hamburger?
Krumm. Right now, do you want to leave? Right now?
Petters. Yeah, so? That doesn’t make me a tourist.
Krumm. Tourists come, see whatever, and go home. This is home for me, Petters. I’m not going back home.
Petters. You’re not going home?
Krumm. No. I’m staying.
Petters. What are you going to do here?
Krumm. I’m going to live here.
Petters. Here? Are you out of your mind?
Krumm. Yes I am.
End. Tourist
numelevenfour

Gernot. How are you feeling?
Lena. Feel my head.
Gernot. You’re burning.
Lena. I can barely see, I’m so hot.
Gernot. Is there anything I can do?
Lena. You can pay for my funeral.
Gernot. Come on, you’re not going to die.
Lena. I feel like I’m going to. I feel so weak. I can barely move. Did you see my plants?
Gernot. No, why?
Lena. Look at them. They’re all dead. I couldn’t take care of them, then Picasso absolutely tore into them.
Gernot. Your cat?
Lena. I think she realized how weak I became and took advantage of it.
Gernot. Your cat is evil.
Lena. I know. Can you open the windows? I can’t breath.
Gernot. You should go to the hospital.
Lena. I should.
Gernot. Do you want me to take you?
Lena. Could you?
Gernot. Sure. Can you get up?
Lena. Can you help me? I hate this. I hate not being able to do anything. I can’t even cook anything.
Gernot. How long have you been like this?
Lena. Three days.
Gernot. Three days? Why didn’t you call earlier?
Lena. I thought I would get better, but I’m getting worse.
Gernot. Do you need something to drink?
Lena. Please, can you stop asking if I need anything?
Gernot. I’m sorry.
Lena. Stop it, it’s getting on my nerves.
Gernot. What do you want me to do?
Lena. Just shut up for a little while. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. Where are you going? Are you leaving?
Gernot. I’m going to go call the doctor to come over. Is that all right with you?
Lena. Yes. That’ll be fine.
Gernot. You are little on edge. You need to calm down. I’ll call the doctor and get you a glass of water.
Lena. Wait.
Gernot. What is it?
Lena. Did you hear that?
Gernot. Hear what?
Lena. That.
Gernot. I don’t hear anything.
Lena. Where are you going?
Gernot. I’m going to call the doctor and get you the glass of water.
Lena. No, don’t leave.
Gernot. I’ll be right back.
Lena. There he is again!
End. Motioning Away
levtwentysixsixteen

Pinkas. Hey.
Louison. Hey.
Pinkas. Where’re my tickets?
Louison. Where’s my money?
Pinkas. What do you mean? I already gave you the money.
Louison. You did? No you didn’t.
Pinkas. Yes, I did. Remember? I saw you earlier today, I gave you the money, but you said you didn’t have the tickets on you so you said you would give them to me now.
Louison. What?
Pinkas. Don’t you remember?
Louison. I was at the tracks all day. I never saw you.
Pinkas. What do you mean? I gave you the money. I know I did.
Louison. Wasn’t me.
Pinkas. Then who did I give three hundred dollars to?
Louison. I don’t know.
Pinkas. Are you kidding me?
Louison. No.
Pinkas. Stop knocking around. Give me my tickets.
Louison. No.
Pinkas. I paid for them.
Louison. No, you didn’t.
Pinkas. Yes, I did. I gave you the money.
Louison. It must have been someone else. Was that guy wearing the same thing as me now?
Pinkas. No, he was wearing a leather jacket.
Louison. It was someone else.
Pinkas. How do you know that?
Louison. I know. What are you doing giving a stranger money without him giving you tickets?
Pinkas. Hey, we’re friends. I trusted you.
Louison. But that wasn’t me. It was some guy who looked like me.
Pinkas. He looked exactly like you.
Louison. Really?
Pinkas. Yeah.
Louison. Did he come up to you?
Pinkas. No, I went to him.
Louison. Then what happened?
Pinkas. I asked him if he had the tickets, and he said no ... oh man.
Louison. What?
Pinkas. I was nervous giving you the money in public, so I just handed it to you, or that guy. He said that he would get me the tickets later.
Louison. You just gave a stranger three hundred dollars?
Pinkas. He looked exactly like you.
Louison. That’s unsettling.
Pinkas. What is?
Louison. There’s a guy walking around with three hundred dollars who looks like me.
Pinkas. If I see him, I’m going to tackle him. Can I have my tickets now?
Louison. Do you have three hundred dollars?
Pinkas. No. Come on. I’m good for it.
Louison. How do I know you’re really Pinkas?
Pinkas. Are you knocking around with me?
Louison. What am I supposed to do? Give you these tickets for free?
Pinkas. We’re buds, man.
Louison. You know, you’re lucky to have a bud like me.
Pinkas. Why’s that?
Louison. Cause I won five hundred at the tracks. Here’re your tickets, little buddie.
End. The Two Hundred Difference
exothirtytwofour

Roel. Koen, look.
Koen. What?
Roel. On the wall. Josephine and Lorenzo must have drawn on the walls.
Koen. We’re not allowed to draw on the walls at home.
Roel. I know. I guess we’re allowed to draw here though.
Koen. Really?
Roel. I think so. I mean, Josephine and Lorenzo drew here.
Koen. Do you think we can draw on the wall too?
Roel. Do you have a pen or something?
Koen. I have one in my bag.
Roel. Go get it.
Koen. Okay.
Roel. Here, give it to me.
Koen. I want to draw first.
Roel. Just give me the pen.
Koen. It’s my pen.
Roel. Do you know what you’re going to draw?
Koen. I don’t want to say.
Roel. Come on. I’m going to find out anyway when you draw it.
Koen. It’s a rabbit. What are you going to draw?
Roel. A tank. My tank’s going to shoot your rabbit.
Koen. I’ll draw a shield around my rabbit so your tank can’t hit it.
Roel. I’ll fire at your shield anyway. All the explosions I scribble will cover your rabbit.
Koen. That’s not fair.
Roel. Are you going to draw your rabbit?
Koen. No.
Roel. Why not?
Koen. Because you’re going to scribble over my rabbit.
Roel. Then give me the pen so I can draw my tank.
Koen. No. It’s my pen.
Roel. I’m going to hurt you.
Koen. I’ll tell Mommy.
Roel. Okay okay, draw your rabbit. My tank won’t attack you.
Koen. Promise?
Roel. I promise.
Koen. Okay.
End. Rabbit vs. Tank
exotwentyseventeen

Sesanna. What happened to you?
Conrad. I don’t have an umbrella.
Sesanna. It’s raining outside?
Conrad. It’s been raining since yesterday.
Sesanna. Are you serious? Is it still raining?
Conrad. Yes, as you can see the rain on me. You didn’t know it was raining?
Sesanna. No.
Conrad. How long has is been since you left the flat?
Sesanna. Five years? I don’t know.
Conrad. Well, let’s go. Do you have an umbrella?
Sesanna. Yes, but it’s raining. I don’t know. I could make dinner here.
Conrad. No, I think we should go out. Just to say we’ve been outside.
Sesanna. I have canned peaches in the refrigerator.
Conrad. Do you really? You know how much I love canned peaches.
Sesanna. I know you do.
Conrad. How about this? We go out for dinner, then come back here for dessert?
Sesanna. Can we rent a movie?
Conrad. I’ll even watch anything you choose, but I get to criticize the movie while we watch.
Sesanna. Then it has to be something I’ve already seen before.
Conrad. The deal’s off if it’s Legends of the Fall.
Sesanna. Come on. I love that movie. I wish three men fell in love with me like that.
Conrad. Don’t they have movies where three women fall in love with one guy?
Sesanna. If we see one in the store, then well get it.
Conrad. Deal.
End. Nescient Rain
exofouteentwentyeight

Josie Cartin. When are you going to let me go?
Mortimer. As soon as the police are here.
Josie Cartin. Are you going to ask for money?
Mortimer. No.
Josie Cartin. Are you going to ask for anything?
Mortimer. No.
Josie Cartin. So you’re just going to wait till the police get here, then you’ll let me go?
Mortimer. Yes.
Josie Cartin. Why did you kidnap me? I could just leave now. You’re not going to do anything about it?
Mortimer. You’re far from home. Where would you go? It’ll be best if you wait for the police. They’ll be here shortly.
Josie Cartin. Aren’t you afraid to go to jail?
Mortimer. No.
Josie Cartin. Why not?
Mortimer. You’re too young to understand.
Josie Cartin. I don’t think anyone would understand.
Mortimer. Have you thought about ending your life?
Josie Cartin. No.
Mortimer. I think about it all the time. I think about the different things I could do to end my life, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
Josie Cartin. Why would you want to kill yourself?
Mortimer. My life is not worth the effort. I want to disappear, but it’s not that easy.
Josie Cartin. What does kidnapping me have to do with killing yourself?
Mortimer. You don’t have to worry about it.
Josie Cartin. Are you going to kill yourself in jail?
Mortimer. No.
Josie Cartin. Then why did you kidnap me? I wish my mom was here. She could help you.
Mortimer. I know your mother.
Josie Cartin. You do? Do you hate her or something?
Mortimer. No. I am one of her patients.
Josie Cartin. You make no sense, you know that?
Mortimer. I know.
Josie Cartin. The police are here.
Mortimer. Good. It’ll be over soon.
Josie Cartin. Should I come with you?
Mortimer. No.
Josie Cartin. What are you going to do?
Mortimer. Resist.
End. Immaterial End
exoeleventen

Eliska. What is that? A suitcase?
Suselle. I’m leaving, Eliska.
Eliska. Oh? Where are you going?
Suselle. Away. Just away.
Eliska. I don’t understand. Are you coming back?
Suselle. I don’t know. I just know that I need to get away from you. You bring out the worst in me. I become insecure, I start to hate myself, and I feel very violent.
Eliska. Because of me?
Suselle. Yes. I don’t think you’re doing it on purpose, and it may be because I’m crazy, but my personality changes whenever I’m around you. I should get away.
Eliska. What do I do to make you feel this way?
Suselle. Please. I don’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving so you wouldn’t be as confused.
Eliska. I’m still a little confused, but I’m really sorry that I make you feel this way. I had no idea.
Suselle. It’s like this heavy block on me. It’ll eventually break me down.
Eliska. Well, where will you stay?
Suselle. Tonight, with Marijke. I’ll be staying with different friends until I find another flat.
Eliska. Are you leaving now, then?
Suselle. Yes.
Eliska. Well, I’m sorry things had to end this way.
Suselle. I am too. I don’t want you to think I hate you. It’s really my mental state that I’m concerned with. We’ll probably get together again, watch a movie or something.
Eliska. I think I have that impression that you don’t hate me. I’m too confused to really grasp with what is going on. I’ll probably think about it tonight.
Suselle. Well, good bye then.
Eliska. Good bye. Good luck.
End. Unintentional Heavy
exothreeseven

Yves. Who is that crying?
Simona. Mr. Ceder. He just lost one of his sons in a car accident.
Yves. Are you serious? That’s horrible.
Simona. I went over, but he wanted to be by himself.
Yves. How old was his son?
Simona. He was in college studying to be a linguist. I think he knew like six different languages.
Yves. Did you know him?
Simona. Not really. I occasionally bumped into him during the holidays. That’s about it.
Yves. I don’t think we should stay here.
Simona. I know. That’s why I called. I’ve been listening to Mr. Ceder cry all day. I’m paralyzed by it. All I could do is listen to him cry.
Yves. You’ve been listening all day?
Simona. Yeah, but it’s weird. I’m not just sitting here listening to him cry. I’ve been keeping myself busy. I made breakfast and lunch, did the dishes, ironed a couple shirts, finished a novel, and wrote two letters.
Yves. All while listening to Mr. Ceder cry?
Simona. Listen to him. There’s nothing I can do to help him. I don’t think he’ll be able to recover from this.
Yves. Come on. Let’s go out and get something to eat.
Simona. I could make something here.
Yves. Let’s go out. Get some fresh air.
Simona. It would be great to know six different languages, to be able to travel and live practically anywhere.
Yves. Hey, let’s go mail those letters out.
Simona. Est-ce que je puis voir le menu?
End. May I See the Menu?
genfortyfivetwo

Lilla. What is all this food doing here on the street?
Stanis. It’s for the cows.
Lilla. I think it’s ironic that there are so many hungry people here and a source of food is just walking amongst them in the streets.
Stanis. They could never eat a cow. It’s against what they believe in.
Lilla. But the food that they leave for these cows could be used to feed people.
Stanis. The cow is the holiest of all beings, though. They should take care of them.
Lilla. I should start a new cult where we would worship the poor and it’ll be necessary for all of us to ensure they are being fed.
Stanis. So a poor person would be the highest form of life in your cult?
Lilla. Yeah, if we live our lives well, we will gradually become poorer.
Stanis. I don’t know if people would warm up to this idea.
Lilla. It would be an honor to be poor. It shows that the god of the poor believes that those who are poor are strong enough to be poor.
Stanis. Then would the rich strive to be poor?
Lilla. Not necessarily. The rich are weak and could not live like the poor, but they would have the utmost respect for the poor and worship them, wishing that they themselves could be poor. Plus, one does not decide to be poor. That would be against the beliefs of my cult. Only the god of the poor can decide that you will be poor.
Stanis. What happens if you force yourself to be poor?
Lilla. That’s going against the god of the poor. Maybe he knows you’re not ready to be poor, but when you are, he’ll let you know.
Stanis. How’s he going to do that?
Lilla. A number of ways. He’ll take away your possessions, or tell you throw away everything and become poor.
Stanis. He’ll give you the choice to become poor?
Lilla. That’s when you’ll know you’re ready to be poor.
Stanis. Is it okay to be rich?
Lilla. It just shows how weak you are, but you should strive to become poor.
Stanis. How do you strive to become poor?
Lilla. It’s not actually striving, it’s more of your reaction when you are humiliated. The rich will try to become more powerful so they would not be humiliated while the poor will agree with his humiliation. It’s a love with being poor.
Stanis. I don’t think I could love being poor.
Lilla. Me neither, but it’s because we’re not ready. We should then feed and love the poor. The god of the poor would want that.
End. Cult of the Poor
genfortyonethree

Koen. Where did you get that?
Roel. I bought it from Menno Benwald.
Koen. You don’t have any money.
Roel. Yes I do. I saved up from my route.
Koen. I’m going to tell Dad you got a knife.
Roel. You better not, or else.
Koen. Or else what?
Roel. Oh, Koen. Guess what? I just got a knife.
Koen. Stop pointing it at me.
Roel. I can do anything I want to do. This knife gives me the power to do anything to you.
Koen. Stop it. I’m going to tell Dad. He’ll take it away from you.
Roel. Don’t you want to play with it too?
Koen. You’ll let me play with it?
Roel. I don’t know. How can you play with it if you tell on me?
Koen. I won’t tell.
Roel. Do you want to see it?
Koen. Yes.
Roel. Here.
Koen. Ah! You cut me! I’m bleeding! Dad!
Roel. Shut up. Shut up. It was an accident. Look what you did. Now Dad’s going to take it away from us.
Dad. What’s going on in here?
Koen. I’m bleeding, Dad!
Dad. How did that happen?
Koen. We were playing and I cut myself against the bed frame.
End. Cut Pull
genthirtyseveneight

Marden. It is cold.
Enid. Yes it is.
Marden. I cannot feel my face.
Enid. It’s still there.
Marden. You know what would be nice?
Enid. Hot chocolate?
Marden. That or hot apple cider.
Enid. That would be nice, but I don’t think we can get any here.
Marden. Yeah, that’s true. Man, it’s cold. When is this bus going to come?
Enid. I have no idea.
Marden. We should have checked the schedule.
Enid. That would have been smart.
Marden. I think I’d rather have the hot chocolate rather than the apple cider. Something thick would be nice.
Enid. Boiling water would be fine with me.
Marden. Boiling water would be nice, but thick hot chocolate would be perfection.
Enid. I think I would go for the hot apple cider.
Marden. Where is that bus?
Enid. Marden?
Marden. Yeah?
Enid. Do you know that guy waving to us?
Marden. No.
Enid. I wonder what he wants.
Marden. I don’t know.
Ondre. Hi, excuse me.
Enid. Hello.
Ondre. Who wanted the hot chocolate?
Marden. What?
Ondre. Did one of you two want hot chocolate?
Marden. Yeah. I did.
Ondre. Here you go. And you must have wanted the apple cider. Be careful, it’s hot.
Enid. Thank you? I’m sorry, but I’m a little confused.
Marden. So am I.
Ondre. It’s okay. You haven’t tried your drinks.
Marden. This is perfect.
Enid. Yeah, I don’t know what to say.
Ondre. I’m glad. Enjoy the drinks. It’s cold out here isn’t it?
Marden. Yes it is.
End. Not Boiling Water
gentwentyeighttwentytwo