One. So how long have you had a boyfriend?
Two. Hmmm ... about two years now.
One. That’s interesting because to me, it seems like you’ve known each other for a month or so.
Two. Because you just met him?
One. Yeah. Would you call that narrow minded?
Two. Actually, it might have been partially my fault since I never told you I had a boyfriend until a couple of weeks ago.
One. So, when you did tell me, it felt like you just met him.
Two. And the reason why I didn’t tell you was because really, I didn’t know you very well.
One. Well, you can’t just come up to me and say, “Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I have a boyfriend.”
Two. Right, but.
One. But?
Two. Normally, I wouldn’t need to say, “I have a boyfriend” if the boyfriend was around me. You should be able to tell when we’re together that we’re boyfriend/girlfriend ... Ugh.
One. What?
Two. I hate those words: boyfriend, girlfriend. I feel like I’m in high school.
One. I have a friend who would refer to her boyfriend as Hon.
Two. Short for Honey?
One. I try not to let it affect me. I have this other friend who refers to her boyfriend as Cheesecake.
Two. You seem to know a lot of girls with boyfriends.
One. Yeah. Keeps me single.
Two. Having a boyfriend or a cheesecake is not a big deal. At first it’s fun, but after two years, I just got used to him. I feel nothing now.
One. Really? That’s kind of sad.
Two. Well, we’re past fighting and yelling and all that nonsense, we’re just together now.
One. You should do something to shake things up.
Two. I’ve tried everything. There’s nothing for me to do.
One. Have you tried wrecking his car?
Two. What?
One. Nothing’s more passionate than crashing your boyfriend’s car.
Two. That’s a bit extreme and weird, but eh. Whatever. I’ll do it.
One. You will?
Two. Sure. I’ll crash his car and tell him that I did it because I love him.
One. How do you think he’ll react?
Two. He’ll be confused, but then he’ll be glad.
One. Glad? Why?
Two. Because he hates his car. He got it for fifteen hundred dollars.
One. Perfect.
Two. In a way, it is.