Astrud. So, Natayna has a stalker stalking her.
Umberto. Another one?
Astrud. I know. I don’t know what it is. Her life is to be stalked.
Umberto. You sound jealous.
Astrud. I’ve never had anyone stalk me.
Umberto. Why not? I think you’re very stalkable.
Astrud. I know. I follow a simple routine everyday. One could stalk me with ease.
Umberto. They’ll find out that you love cherry ice cream and leave a pint of it in your kitchen.
Astrud. Ooh, really?
Umberto. That’s what I would do. It’s freaky, but romantic.
Astrud. You would be a great stalker.
Umberto. You think so?
Astrud. Yeah, I can imagine you taking photos of yourself in my apartment and leaving them in the room you took them in.
Umberto. But I wouldn’t do that until I thought you would be ready for something like that. That’s something you need to be eased into. I could start you off with photos of the places that you go to, then incorporate you into the photos, then photos of outside your apartment, then finally me inside your apartment.
Astrud. You could take a photo of you eating cherry ice cream.
Umberto. Yeah, I like that. It would confuse and amuse you at the same time.
Astrud. I wonder if Natanya’s stalker does anything like that.
Umberto. Nah, he probably just calls her up and hangs up.
Astrud. Or collects the hair that falls from her head. How boring is that?
Umberto. Hum, I need to learn how to pick locks.
Astrud. No, no, don’t tell me ... !