Kader. What took you so long?
Raf. Oh, this drunk.
Kader. What happened?
Raf. I was waiting outside the bathroom and this drunk guy just comes and tries to open the door, but he can’t because someone’s already in there. It doesn’t matter though. He rattling the doorknob, banging on the door, it’s like he doesn’t realize that it’s locked and the reason why it’s locked is because someone’s in it. Anyway, I thought I would be helpful and explain the situation to him. I told him that someone was already in there, but he turns right to me, looks at me, and gives me this, “Oh, really? Someone is in there?” I tell him that he needs to wait for the person to finish, then he repeats his, “Oh really?” I really hate punk drunks.
Kader. So then what happened?
Raf. He starts shouting at me like, “Dude man, just open the door. I gotta piss. If you don’t open the door, I’m going to piss all over you and your pretty shoes.”
Kader. Was he bigger than you?
Raf. Yeah, but he was gone. I had that. So, he pushed me and I first took it. The guy’s drunk right? I’ll give drunks a little buffer to let some steam off, but this one keeps shoving me, so I ask him, “I’m not going to open the door. Are you going to piss on me?”
Kader. You did?
Raf. Then he goes, “Yeah, I’m going to piss on you.” So when he goes down to unzip his pants, I tackle him against the door, and I guess his back slammed against the doorknob cause he was writhing in pain. I stood over this poor drunk, screaming and pissing in his pants. Drunks are funny.
Kader. Yeah, I guess they are.
End. Punk Drunk