Renaat. I found this beetle in my teapot today.
Emile. Was it a Japanese beetle?
Renaat. No, this one was brown with white spots.
Emile. What did you do with it?
Renaat. Well I washed it down the drain, but before that, that beetle stopped me. Where did it come from? How did it get into my kitchen let alone my teapot?
Emile. Maybe it liked the residue of the tea in the pot.
Renaat. But I don’t use it for tea. I use it to water my plants, so there wasn’t really anything in the pot for the beetle to enjoy. It didn’t make any sense to me. How did this beetle get into my apartment? I have to wonder if more will come. I don’t think I’m quite ready for a beetle infestation.
Emile. Do you really think you’ll have an infestation?
Renaat. Maybe not. I don’t know. I just didn’t like the feeling I had when I found a brown beetle with white spots in my empty teapot before I watered my plants.
End. Beetle Unsettled

Koen. Roel.
Roel. Get away from here.
Koen. What are you doing?
Roel. I’m getting out of here. I never want to come back here again.
Koen. Where are you going?
Roel. Where ever this train takes me. It doesn’t matter.
Koen. What about Mommy and Daddy?
Roel. They still have you. They’ll be fine.
Koen. But, why are you going?
Roel. Stop asking me so many questions.
Koen. I’m going to tell Mommy and Daddy.
Roel. If I see you again, I’m going to stab you.
Koen. You brought your knife with you?
Roel. Of course. For protection.
Koen. I want to go with you.
Roel. You can’t go with me.
Koen. Why not?
Roel. Because you have to stay home with Mommy and Daddy.
Koen. Why?
Roel. They’re going to die if both of us leave. If only one of us leaves, then it’s not so hard for them.
Koen. Mommy’s going to cry.
Roel. Yeah, but then she’ll try harder with you.
Koen. You’re not coming back?
Roel. I don’t think so. Go back home, Koen. Don’t tell them or the police you saw me.
Koen. The police?
Roel. Mommy and Daddy are going to call to police to find me.
Koen. They’re going to find you, Roel.
Roel. No they’re not. It’s a big country. I could be anywhere. I don’t even know where I’ll be.
Koen. Why are you leaving?
Roel. Good bye, Koen.
End. Track Flow

Mouna. Do you believe in the devil?
Girolamo. I don’t know. I really never thought about it.
Mouna. So, no. Right?
Girolamo. No for now. I might change my mind later.
Mouna. Okay, then think about what you’re thinking and how it differs from when you’re happy. Right now, you're convincing yourself to just give up on everything. Maybe you’re even starting to hate yourself and regret the life you led, I don’t know, but what you’re thinking is very different from your thoughts when everything is fine.
Girolamo. Well, of course. When you’re happy, you’re happy. When you’re sad, you’re sad.
Mouna. Yes, but when you’re sad you want to self-destruct, and not only do you find reasons to self-destruct, but you find ways to self-destruct. Don’t you want to just destroy everything you’ve built up in your life?
Girolamo. Yes, but some of these things, I do need to destroy.
Mouna. But you don’t need to destroy everything. There is something inside of you trying to convince you to self-destruct. It’s like a second personality. You know how Schizophrenics develop multiple personalities? Well, I really think that we all have these multiple personalities. They convince us that we’re pretty, ugly, smart, stupid.
Girolamo. So I have another personality that’s trying to convince me that I should die?
Mouna. You have to realize that that’s not your real personality.
Girolamo. Where do these other personalities come from?
Mouna. I don’t know, but with Schizophrenics, they actually manifest their personalities. Since we don’t, I think we don’t realize that we have separated personalities. If we saw and heard one of our personalities, we would almost immediately realize that it was not real.
Girolamo. So which personality is the real one? Which should I listen to?
Mouna. Your real personality is the listening one, the one that makes decisions. You just need to make the right decision.
Girolamo. Well, I guess I have some thinking to do.
End. First Second

Larber. It’s because you’re heavy.
Touria. Do you want to die?
End. Why Touria Lost Her Balance in the Bus

Stanislas. You know, I’ve already publicly showered with another friend’s boyfriend a couple of years ago. It was definitely a discomfiting situation. I really don’t intend to do it twice. I hope you understand.
Farid. Not a problem.
Stanislas. Thanks.
End. Showering Once is Enough

Mariano. My order is great. It’s strange, but I really think this is the best bread I’ve ever had.
Maret. I know, but I feel bad for this restaurant. Look at this. This bread is amazing, the fowl is wonderful, even the dressing has a zing to it.
Mariano. I don’t get it. Why does it make you sad?
Maret. Cause you know that this restaurant’s not going to last very long. Every time we come here, it’s always empty. You just know it’s going to close soon.
Mariano. I guess so. It’s a shame. Restaurants can die, but the cooks don’t. Well, unless they do, but you know. If the restaurant closes, whoever makes this bread will simply go to another restaurant. We just need to know where that’ll be.
Maret. Hold on. Waiter?
Waiter. Did you want anything else?
Maret. Yes, can you tell me the name of the person who makes this bread?
Waiter. His name is Ugo.
End. Ugo Bakes the Bread

Tuomas. How long is this tunnel?
Noam. I don’t know. I’ve never been here.
Tuomas. I don’t think there’s an end to it. We’ve been walking for three hours now.
Noam. What do you want to do, go back? I’m not going back there again.
Tuomas. Let’s just sit down a rest for a while. I’m tired, Noam.
Noam. There has to be an end to this tunnel. Why would anyone make a tunnel without an end?
Tuomas. If there is an end to it, where is it? There’s no light, no drafts of wind, I really believe were going to die in this tunnel.
Noam. We can’t go back. They should know we’re gone by now. They’re going to look for us.
Tuomas. What if they find the tunnel? If we hear them, there’ll be nowhere to hide. They’ll just take us back.
Noam. We just have to get to the end of the tunnel before they find us.
Tuomas. I wish they would find us then decide to kill us right here for making them go deep into the tunnel. I’m too tired to go back. I think I would ask them to kill me if they found me.
Noam. I’m not going to ask them anything, but they’re going to have to kill me because I’m not going to go back either.
Tuomas. I can hear their footstep already.
Noam. I don’t hear anything.
Tuomas. They’re coming. I know they are. I’m going to sleep.
Noam. What about the end? We have to keep going.
Tuomas. I’m going to sleep. Nothing’s going to wake me up.
Noam. I’m going to go ahead. If there’s any sign that we’re close, I’ll come back and get you. Tuomas? Tuomas?
End. Tuomas Sleeps

Severine. I liked that movie. Didn’t you?
Harel. The popcorn was really nice.
Severine. What about the movie? I know you have something to say about it.
Harel. I’d rather not.
Severine. Why not?
Harel. I don’t know. Aren’t you tired of my analysis of movies? Don’t you want to watch a movie and enjoy it for what it is?
Severine. Yes, but I’m also curious to what you think about the movie too. Didn’t you think the dialogue was pretty bad?
Harel. I’m serious. I don’t want to talk about the movie. I’m done forcing my opinions of movies on my friends. I’ll only do it to people I dislike.
Severine. You’re being ridiculous. I really want to know what you thought about the characters. Like what was the point of Sjeng being there? I think you could have taken him out of the entire movie, and nothing would have changed.
Harel. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to get a response out of me.
Severine. Come on. Anything. What’s the point if we can’t discuss it? Is this how you’re going to treat everything now? Take everything in and refuse to process it? It’s like you’re going to be one big drain. Slurp, slurp.
Harel. Only with movies. I can talk about the lunch we had.
Severine. What did you think of our lunch?
Harel. It was better than the movie.
End. Slurping Movies

Cactus. Hey.
Seda. Yes?
Cactus. Come over here.
Seda. Okay?
Cactus. Will you smell me, and tell me what you think?
Seda. I’m sorry, I have to go.
Cactus. Wait.
Seda. Maybe next time. Good bye.
Cactus. Why won’t you smell me?
End. Unaware of Prickling

Yulia. There was this strange guy at the subway station today.
Renzo. Why, what happened?
Yulia. It was a guy with this black warm-up suit on. He looked normal enough, but then I noticed that he was looking into the faces of everyone waiting for the train. It was as if he was looking for someone in particular, bending of standing on his toes to get a better angle.
Renzo. Could you tell if he was looking for a girl or a guy?
Yulia. I think guy cause he didn’t look at me. So then, the train arrives. He goes in, and I follow him.
Renzo. You really need to stop following people. It’s an obsession for you. You see someone who seems like a curiosity, and you instantly follow him around.
Yulia. I wouldn’t call it an obsession. It’s a fascination. Who was this guy looking for? He continued to look at people’s faces standing up and sitting down in the train. He went up and down the train sometimes pushing people to the side to get a better look.
Renzo. Did he ever find the person he was looking for?
Yulia. No, he got off the next station.
Renzo. Did you follow him?
Yulia. I wanted to, but I was a little afraid of him.
Renzo. Why?
Yulia. Cause, I was afraid of what he was going to do once he found his person.
End. Standing Up Sitting Down

Leander. Do you remember when Frantisek took off your bumper with his car?
Younes. When was that? Back in high school?
Leander. Yeah, I was in the car with him when it happened.
Younes. He just tore off my bumper. It pissed me off. That was my first car.
Leander. It was a piece of junk.
Younes. That piece of junk got me around.
Leander. I remember getting rid of my first car. I gave it to a friend of the family’s. Sometimes we would visit for Christmas dinner, and I would see my car in their driveway. They didn’t take good care of it, though. They asked me if I wanted to drive it around one time, but I couldn’t. It didn’t seem like my car anymore.
Younes. I know what you mean. When Frantisek ripped off my bumper, it took me some time to feel like I was driving my car again.
Leander. Something in Frantisek snapped. He could have stopped right after he hit you, but it was as if he gave up on everything and stepped on the gas.
Younes. I haven’t heard from Frantisek in a while. I wonder what he’s up to.
End. Replacement Bumper

Marta. See that girl with the cast on her arm?
Nenad. Where?
Marta. She’s sitting by the window – shoulder length black hair.
Nenad. What about her?
Marta. Look how she’s wearing that cast. She’s waving it around as if she never broke it.
Nenad. Are we supposed to be concerned?
Marta. I’ve never broken my arm, but if I did, I think I would be careful about taking care of it.
Nenad. Maybe breaking her arm is a normal occurrence for her, so she’s used to having a cast on her arm.
Marta. I don’t think so. How do you think she broke her arm?
Nenad. Rock climbing. She fell and used her left arm to break her fall.
Marta. I’m going to say she jumped out of a ground floor window and landed wrong.
Nenad. Marta.
Marta. What?
Nenad. You’re staring.
End. Cast

Lado. Here’s your tea.
Rossana. Thank you. This is a really nice cup.
Lado. I got it the other day. What do you think of the tea?
Rossana. I think the cup is nicer.
End. Nicer Than Tea

Horia. The weather’s getting warmer.
Amandine. It’s time for wet watermelon rinds to be found in the dirt.
Horia. And for brushing your teeth outside then spitting onto the ground at night.
Amandine. Swimming in the heavy heat.
Horia. Leaving the theater in the afternoon.
Amandine. Shucking corn into plastic bags.
Horia. Cool, dark kitchen floors.
Amandine. Let’s get out of here.
Horia. Okay.
End. A Warm List

Maqui. I’ve been thinking about death lately.
Hicham. What about it?
Maqui. I guess I have a preference of dying. You know, the way I want to die.
Hicham. I don’t think I really care how I die. Well maybe, I don’t want to be tortured to death. I don't do well when someone else is controling my life.
Maqui. Yes, exactly. I don’t want a slow death. I want my death to be instantaneous and surprising. I really want to be shocked, and when it happens I’ll be thinking, this is how I’m going to die. If all goes well, I'll be able to enjoy it. I just hope that I don’t end up in a bed surrounded by friends and family waiting for me to die. A car accident would be better.
Hicham. I wonder if I’ll be in some sort of accident, too.
Maqui. You never know, and I guess that's the interesting part.
Hicham. I don’t know. I’m afraid I’ll have a slow and painful death. I'm not looking forward to that.
Maqui. Just know it’ll be over soon.
End. Instantaneous and Surprising

Nikolay. Ah, damn it.
Ludmila. What happened?
Nikolay. I dropped my telephoto lens over the boat.
Ludmila. Where?
Nikolay. It’s down there somewhere.
Ludmila. Can you see it?
Nikolay. No. It’s got to be in the coral. I can feel the coral cutting into the surface of the lens. It's best left alone.
Ludmila. It’s not very deep, is it?
Nikolay. No, not really.
Ludmila. I’m going down there to get it.
Nikolay. It’s kind of dark though. I don’t know if you will be able to find it. We’ve got to get back to shore soon.
Ludmila. But what about your lens?
Nikolay. I still have my wide angle. I’ll be alright.
Ludmila. Are you sure? I really want to see if I can find it.
Nikolay. Ah, I’ll give you five minutes.
Ludmila. Make it ten.
Nikolay. But if you don’t get to the boat in ten minutes, I’m leaving without you.
Ludmila. That’s actually what I want.
Nikolay. I know.
End. Leaving the Sea

Denni. Hello?
Marlous. Hi, Denni? It’s Marlous. Did I wake you?
Denni. What? What time is it? It’s still dark.
Marlous. It’s five forty-three.
Denni. When does it get light?
Marlous. I don’t know. In about an hour?
Denni. That was the first time I’ve ever been ripped out of a dream before.
Marlous. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.
Denni. I was dreaming that it was the end of the world, and everyone was taking taxis to go to heaven. I remember being in a suburb of houses, and the clouds were heavy and grey. I think it was a humid. It felt like it was just about to thunder then a warm rain would come. There was no explosions or panic around me. People just knew it was the end of the world and promptly got into their taxis. I think I must have been the last one to realize it was the end of the world. So, everyone was finding a taxi and going off to heaven. Even their dogs wearing pink ribbons on their heads. I’m all panicked, but there's nothing that I can do. I guess I could have forced my way onto a taxi, but I guess that wouldn't look so good. You know. Me fighting my way to get into heaven. So, I’m trying to find my own taxi, but that’s when you called. I really felt like this hand took a grip of my hair and ripped me right out of the dream.
Marlous. I’m so sorry. You know I didn’t mean to keep you from heaven. I'm sure you would have found a taxi.
Denni. Yeah, maybe. Oh so, did you need something?
Marlous. I can’t get into the building. I forgot my keys.
Denni. Oh, okay. I’ll be down. Are you downstairs?
Marlous. I’m at the gas station. I’ll be there in like five minutes.
Denni. Good, that’ll give me some time to calm down.
End. Ripped from Heaven