Yuriko. Let’s see what disgusting things you have in your refrigerator.
Hatsunori. Don’t be misled. They’re all experiments. I’m going to make the perfect cheese.
Yuriko. Hey, one of your onions is growing a stalk. Look at this.
Hatsunori. Ooh, I was going to use that today.
Yuriko. You can you still use it, can’t you?
Hatsunori. I don’t know. Can I?
Yuriko. It’s still an onion, but it’s an onion plant too.
Hatsunori. It feels immoral to use it now, you know? It’s alive. By accident, I’ve created a new life for this onion. I don’t feel I have the right to take it away.
Yuriko. Morals for an onion. Well, I think you should plant it.
Hatsunori. But where?
Yuriko. What about the park?
Hatsunori. Gee, Yuriko. You’re full of ideas, aren’t you?
*Yuriko punches Hatsunori in the arm*
Hatsunori. Ow.
Yuriko. Do you have a trowel?
Hatsunori. No, but I could get one at the hardware store.
Yuriko. You know? I should have planted onions all over my university campus.
Hatsunori. I probably would have helped you.
Yuriko. I would have taken onions from the dining halls and planted them everywhere. I should have done something stupid like that.
Hatsunori. I guess it’s too late now.
Yuriko. Well, let’s go to the hardware store. We’ll plant this one in the park and that’ll be that.
End. The Influence of an Onion