It has come to a point where I no longer have the curiosity of what will come in the future. I simply do not care anymore. People attempt to control me; others hinder me. I am no longer myself, but I ask myself, “what will make me happy?” Unfortunately, nothing makes me happy. I’ve attained a similar negativity towards my life as Akira Kurosawa has in his film, Ran. I’ve constantly kept convincing myself that my state of mind is only temporary, but now I feel like I will always be like this. I refuse to be a prisoner of my own emotions and the only way I can escape is to fade from this life. I’ve made a conscious effort to go to hell, and I will see you with spear in hand ripping out your innards because I’ve been here that much longer than you have.