Torben. Read this.
Petra. What is this, a recipe?
Torben. Yeah, but look at what the recipe’s for.
Petra. I don’t get it. Filet mingon’s been crossed out and your name’s in place of it. Two eight-ounce Torben steaks. You better not be planning to cook yourself, because I don’t think I could look at your empty face as I cut into your flesh.
Torben. Elspeth mailed this to me.
Petra. Elspeth? Sounds like she’s mad at you.
Torben. Yeah, interesting how her want to devour me equates into hatred.
Petra. What did you do?
Torben. She caught me kicking her dog.
Petra. You kicked her dog?
Torben. I’ve always believed that there are two types of people. There are people who adore dogs and have no problems adoring any dog anywhere. Then there are people who simply don’t know what to do with dogs and become confused so they do things they wouldn’t normally do.
Petra. Like kick them?
Torben. Do you want to eat me too?
Petra. It does say to wrap you in bacon.
Torben. I guess it’ll help bring the flavor out of me.
End. Wrap Bacon Around Steaks and Tie
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